We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
