masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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