Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
