Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
