its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize