you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
