I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
