I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
