I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
