I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
