Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
