i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
