Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.

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(917): View more from New York City

She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.

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(972): View more from Texas

Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

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(240): View more from Maryland

All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.

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(248): View more from Michigan

THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?

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(416): View more from Toronto

I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there

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(480): View more from Arizona

I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.

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