i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
