There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
