What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
