apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
