Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
