why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
