BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
