Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
