If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
