Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow

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(317): View more from Indiana

you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.

Fav 24 6757 1517
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.

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(845): View more from New York

You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....

Fav 0 931 539
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(630): View more from Illinois

come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.

Fav 1 719 573
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(727): View more from Florida

Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am

Fav 1 682 341
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(937): View more from Ohio

If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom

Fav 0 10 46
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(442): View more from California

I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass

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