I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
