Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
