Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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