it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
