He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
