Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need moral support for this bender
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
