shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
