why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
