therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
