if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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