p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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