I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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