a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
