Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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