when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
