No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
