great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In other news, I just burned my penis
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize