Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
