Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
