Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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