broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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