I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
