Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just had sex bonerless
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
