on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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