i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
