i don't like sucking hair
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
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