we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
