white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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