Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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