yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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