So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We need to get me chipped asap
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
