he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
