just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
