Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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