i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
