Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's official drugs can't kill me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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