we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
