I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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