I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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