Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize