I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
