is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
